Because I Love You
by Scealai
Summary: Cordelia contemplates a major part of her relationship with Angel.


Title: Because I Love You  
Author: T. C. (Scealai)  
Rating: R  
Pairing: Angel/Cordelia  
Summary: Cordelia contemplates a major part of her relationship with  
Angel.  
Spoilers: There are vague mentions of events that happened in 'Orpheus'  
and 'Offspring.'  
Disclaimer: The characters from 'Angel' belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant  
Enemy, 20th Century Fox, and the WB.  
***********************************************************************  
  
Angel knew just where to kiss her to make Cordelia's breath stop.  
When he pressed his lips, warm from the friction of previous kisses, to  
the small of her back she let out a hitched gasp and for a moment she   
could not draw air into her lungs. Then his tongue caressed the spot   
his lips just left, licking the sun/moon tattoo she had gotten just   
after Doyle had died and her breath started again with a soft moan.   
She had never told Angel that she had thought of him when she had   
picked it out and the tattoo artist had repeatedly picked at her skin  
with the needle. That to her it was a representation of them - their   
friendship, partnership, and now their love. She felt Angel rest his  
head on her hip and she reached down to run her fingers through his  
hair. With a gentle, playful tug on his spiky locks, Cordelia drew  
him up to her. While they kissed she turned so that she was underneath  
him. She liked feeling his weight on top her. She let her hands play  
down his back, tracing the delicate contours of his spine and the hard  
muscles that surrounded it. She wanted to feel him inside of her.  
  
"Angel," Cordelia gasped into his mouth as he thrust into her and she  
wrapped her legs around him. Making love with Angel was perfect. With  
her past lovers, something had always been missing, but with Angel she  
felt complete. He knew exactly where and how to touch her to make her  
feel incredibly sexy and adored. He moved away from her mouth as he  
kissed his way across her jaw and down her throat. She felt the ridges  
form over his brow and forced herself to relax. She let her head fall  
to the side to give him better access.   
  
Angel was a vampire. Cordelia knew that going into the relationship.  
They had been through a lot together and she knew he was more than just  
fangs and a craving for blood and redemption. He had a strong,   
compassionate soul and a sense of duty that was sometimes   
self-destructive. His old fashioned chivalrous nature was sweet and  
annoying at the same time. She loved these things about him. She  
loved everything about him. She reminded herself of this every time he  
bit her.  
  
The first time they had made love, they had been nervous and afraid of  
the consequences. Despite the fact that they had researched Willow's  
claim that she had restored Angel's soul the second time permanently in  
every way possible and had confirmed it, they were still wary. But  
soon passion and need had overwhelmed them and before she could fully  
process everything, Cordelia had been in throes of an orgasm and Angel  
had sunk his fangs into her throat. He had been sorry afterwards, of  
course. He had apologized and promised that it would never happen   
again because he would control himself. She had held him and told him  
it was okay. She loved him. When she had looked into his eyes she  
had seen a desperate need for acceptance. He needed her to accept as  
a man and a vampire. She lied. She told him that he didn't need to  
control himself or hold anything back when he was with her. She loved  
him.   
  
Cordelia closed her eyes and waited. She cradled Angel's head in her  
hands. His fangs pierced her skin as gently as possible. It still   
hurt. It still made her recall the time Darla had savagely ripped her  
throat open and almost killed her. She bit her lip to keep the whimper  
of pain from reaching Angel's ears and waited until agony subsided   
enough for her to turn the sound into a cry of excitement. The harsh  
suction that pulled her blood into his mouth was excruciating.   
Cordelia pulled at Angel's hair and dug her fingernails into his scalp,  
hoping that he mistook her actions for passion. Finally he finished   
and his fangs retracted. His tongue lapped at the wound and as the   
pain receded, Cordelia could feel her desire return. Angel had a very  
talented tongue and it didn't take long for both of them to reach the  
pinnacle of ecstasy.   
  
After she kissed him. She could taste the sharp metallic residue of  
her blood in his saliva. It wasn't any worse than when she sucked at  
a paper cut on her finger. "I love you," she whispered.  
  
"I love you." Angel smiled at her. She held him against her and   
buried her head in his chest. She had thought she would get used to  
it. She had thought that it would only hurt the first time. She  
couldn't tell Angel that she didn't like it when he bit her. That it  
didn't matter where - her neck, breast, thigh - it still hurt. She   
would continue to fake pleasure when he sucked her blood. It made  
their love making complete for him and she couldn't take that away. It  
would be her secret that a very small part of her heart quivered with   
fear and pain when they made love. She loved everything about him,  
even the parts that hurt her.  
  
The End 


End file.
